The Truth about Transformation

Transformation is a wonderful thing. It can be slow, sometimes imperceptible, but it’s results can be delicious.

There’s a pear tree in my backyard that was bare a few months ago.  First came beautiful blossoms, then leaves and then just the smallest buds of young fruit.  This week, I was up on a ladder trying to get all the pears that were bending the branches with their weight.  The yellow ones were soft, sweet and warm from the sun.  Delicious! I think my son ate six.

Like those pears, our purpose is to be transformed into something delicious.  All the potential lies within and around us, and like a Master Chef (yes, I’m mixing metaphors here), our Creator has made each of us with a plan in mind.  Our transformation into the men and women we were created to be is often just as slow and imperceptible as with those pears. But, the end is no less sweet.

I’ve been reading parables in the Gospel of Mark chapter four: The Sower, the growing seed and the mustard seed.  All are parables about how the Kingdom of heaven infiltrates and transforms us.  C.S. Lewis famously described it as a good infection, changing us from the inside out.  Jesus used seed metaphors because the change is slow, sometimes imperceptible. 

Waiting for the pears to come could be agonizing.  Instead, all our family could do is go on with life, nurture the tree and notice when the fruit was ready.

Its that way with our personal transformation too.  Rather than waiting for it to come, or beating up on ourselves because we haven’t arrived, we’re invited to get on with life.  Nurture our transformation and take notice when the work has been happening.  Live, love, reflect.  Sounds like a wonderful rhythm.

Now, I was raised in a tradition that heavily emphasized personal transformation; you might hear that prejudice coming out.  I’m currently in a tradition that includes societal transformation. In Christ’s Church, there has been a chasm between the personal gospel of one stream, and the social gospel of the other.  I’m glad to see signs of a bridge being built, because these two streams are part of the same River (to borrow an image from Richard Foster).  They are intimately connected; two sides of the same coin. 

Individuals cannot be genuinely transformed by God’s love without becoming means of transformation to the whole of God’s Creation.  “Grace is not grace if it is not expressed in life” says Karl Barth. 

And, the whole of creation becomes a means of God’s transformative work. “Where can I go from Your Spirit?” the writer asks in Psalm 139.

(Is it any wonder that the Christian view of the end includes the idea that some pieces won’t fit? When all is made right, when creation and each of us have been transformed and finally know ourselves as we have always been known by our Creator, what place will there be for the darkness that had prevented us from realizing this identity? The darkness must cease to be.)

One last thought.  I could nurture and notice the pear tree, but I couldn’t make the pears grow.  In the same way, I can nurture and notice my personal transformation, but I can’t make it happen. That’s God’s work, and the Christian hope is for a final day when this work will be finished and all will be made well.  Until then, all I can do is join God’s great transformative endeavor, within me and in the whole of Creation.

Objectives Revisited

I’ve written about our leadership team’s work setting core values and objectives.  Last Friday, we held another meeting to set new objectives for this quarter, and evaluate the ones we were using. 

Objectives are important because they help orient an organization and build momentum. They should be rooted in our core values, be achievable and quantifiable.

Evaluating

It’d been about three months, enough time to see how we’d done on accomplishing our first three objectives.

1. Hymns in Worship

We had discerned that some among us didn’t feel at home anymore, and music played a part in that. So we would intentionally include at least one hymn done in a traditional style.

I thought we did really well on this one.  Folks had shown gratitude for the effort. But, as we chatted more, it became clear that simply doing a hymn from the hymnbook didn’t always meet the need.   One Sunday, we did three hymns from the book, but someone still asked afterwards if we could sing a hymn.  The issue wasn’t whether we did hymns from the book, but whether we did hymns that evoke the sacred for the folks who worship with us.

So, the leadership team opted to go back to the congregation.

We each have our own inner repertoire of sacred music.  Since we need to purge our music files anyways, we’re asking the folks at Burns which songs we should make sure we keep.

2. Ashburn Canada Day Picnic

We had an amazing time at the Canada Day picnic that takes place in the village where we worship (I’ve written about it here).  The congregation did the BBQ and had lots of fun doing it.

Our original objective was to infuse a bit more fun into the event.  While there were races for kids of different age groups, we still saw a need for the kinds of things families could come back to throughout the event. We decided to investigate getting more deeply involved next year.

3. Prayer Emphasis

Prayer is one of our core values, and we want to nurture a culture of prayer.  In addition to personal stories about praying, and a prayer request box in the foyer, we prayed for 5-6 families from our roll each week.  We sent a card to each of them, letting them know we had prayed for them. 

On a number of occasions, people who had been away for a while made a point of worshipping with us, letting us know how much they appreciated that we were praying for them.  More than once, I had a person approach me and say, “Getting that card was just what I needed, considering the week I was having.”

This was a success, and one we’ll continue. 

Hearing the Context

Afterwards, we took time revisit the reports from a bunch of listening exercises in May and June: an online survey to our community, a Natural Church Development survey, and attending a Stewards-by-Design conference run through our denomination. 

Setting New Objectives

Finally came the crux of the evening.  What were the needs we’d heard from these reports and from our congregation?  After grouping similar ones together, we ranked them.  Here are the top three:

1. Communication.

People are attending who use a variety of media, and as we transition from a village to a regional church, it was clear we needed to amp up our game in a few ways:

a.     Rework the website. 

An elder is forming a team to recommend what our new, online “front door” should look like.

b.     Merge email communication. 

We don’t want to be “that” church with multiple emails and duplicated details .  A strategy was developed to place all “church family” news in the weekly email.

c.      Weekly print bulletin

The same “church family” news will be available by print every week.  Right now, we only use projected slides, but many commented they missed taking something home on paper. 

We agreed to change it.

d.     Monthly print newsletter

We’d shift the focus of this to be for those in our wider community.  As momentum builds, we’ll need a vehicle to let the community know what’s happening.

2. Broader Ownership.  

We realized that for objectives to work in our whole congregation, more of the key players needed to be on board.  Burns has always been pretty democratic, so it didn’t surprise me that we felt more congregational support was needed.  Thankfully, Dr. Callahan recommends the same, so I felt pretty confident this was a good direction. 

We’re working on a strategic planning meeting in the fall and will bring in a facilitator to help us.

      3. Activities.

Burns has always been blessed with people who have get-up-and-go.  The women are talking about a weekly exercise and fellowship gathering. The men are talking about how to partner with a local agency that serves families living with autism.  The women are planning a trip to a dinner theater.  The men are planning to go bowling.  There is no shortage of activity.

That makes the leadership team’s job straight forward: support what the Spirit is doing among the grass roots!  So we are.

One meeting isn’t the end of the story, but during that time we sensed the Spirit’s leading, allowing our congregation to move in a direction the whole team could get behind. 

How very Presbyterian!

Transitions can be Tough

Transitions are tough. Even good ones, like a wedding or going to school, can be times of stress.

My little guy just started kindergarten in the modified school calendar.  He was excited about it.  This was part of being a big boy, and we talked it up, encouraging those positive feelings. The first day, he stood in line and while little boys broke down in tears beside him, he bravely walked into school.

He snuck into our bed early the next morning and stated matter of factly, “I’m not going to school today.” 

“What are you going to do?” his mom asked.

“I’m going to stay home with you,” he replied.  She patiently explained that he couldn’t do that.  So he upped it a level:

“My tummy hurts,” he said.  “Can I stay home in my jammies?” The mixture of sympathy and cuteness wore on her defenses.  But wise woman that she is, she said, “If you stay home in your jammies, you’ll need to stay in your bed all day.”

That was enough for the second day.  The third, a similar story unfolded. Maybe it was the other boys’ example.  Maybe it was that there was no place for the kids to play, so that they were stuck lining up in front of the school instead of playing with the kids in the fenced area. Maybe.

But, maybe it’s also because transitions are tough.

Burns, the congregation I serve with, is experiencing this first hand.  There’s a lot of good things happening, but even good transitions can be stressful.

New Faces

We’ve had new people come, and they’ve been warmly welcomed by those already there.  However, some have also felt the wonder of seeing people we don’t know.  Things have changed and while its welcome, its also has some discomfort.

Family Size to Pastoral Size

With new people, the congregation has shifted from what Alice Mann calls a family size church to a pastoral size one.   In a family size, everyone knows everyone.  Communication is pretty easy as the grapevine is pretty active. Everyone chips in a little energy and the maintenance tasks are done.

With a pastoral size, and with new people, the grapevine doesn’t work in the same way.  Getting news to those that need it can be challenging, and involves adopting everything from facebook pages to newsletters.

Local to Regional

Just a decade ago, most of the people who came to Burns on a Sunday lived in or were connected to the village of Ashburn.  Now, its about a quarter.  People come for all kinds of reasons, especially because they feel an affinity with what God’s doing among us.  That’s great!  But, its meant our objectives shift from strategies that worked in a village, to ones that work for a region.

These changes are good, but they can be difficult.  Here are some things we’re discovering about navigating these waters.

Keep Focused

When my little guy was standing in line on that first day, as the boys are crying beside him, he was fixated on them.  His mom and I kept drawing his attention back to his teacher, how he was growing up, that he was going to have a great day.

No matter what the transition is, it helps to stay focused on the end of the transition. What are we hoping for?  What is God doing within and around us?  What will be the result of this season?

Talk Lots

As my little guy stood in line, we used our words to help him stay focused.  When he came into bed and said he didn’t want to go to school, we asked him why.  When people are feeling anxious about the transition they’re in, its important to talk about things.  What are we feeling, and what’s made us feel that way?

A few of us from Burns did that last night and realized much of what we were feeling was rooted in these transitions. Knowing that allowed us to live with the tension of this season, while working on some of the other things that were within our control.  What often happens is we blame all the tension on one or two issues.  They become flash points for a bunch of energy that is actually tied to other things too, like the discomfort and stress of a transition.  Talking it through allows us separate the issues, tackle the ones we can, and pray for the serenity to accept the things we can’t change.

Transitions, even good ones, can be tough.  My little guy’s first few days at school have proven that.  This afternoon though, he came out at lunch time, flashed a huge grin and said, “I had fun!”   Once we’ve accepted and named the energy transitions bring, we can discover the joy on the other side.

Teaching Kids about Money

Has this ever happened to you?  Our family was in Target today, doing some back-to-school shopping when my almost 4 year old said he really, really, REALLY wanted that toy.  

Toys are like candy for this guy.  He absolutely loves them, and is constantly asking for a new toy from the toy “schtore”. Sadly, the newness of the latest acquisition lasts about as long as candy lasts around me. 

When my daughter was the same age, she insisted we “Could just go to the bank machine to get more money.”  The teacher in me awoke at this opportunity.  And I treated her to a diatribe on how we get money, the value of work, saving our dollars and only spending money you have.  Is it good that she walked away with eyes glazed over?

So how will our kids learn about the value of money?  Who will teach them about how to handle their dollars?

My wife and I asked this recently as we drove back from a trip.  We remembered a practice we’d learned in Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace course.  We used this a few years ago, but sadly had let it lapse.

It works like this

Each child has three jars, or boxes. 

            One for saving for the future,

                        One for sharing with those in need, and

                                    One for spending now.

Then each week they do some chores around the house.  In a wonderful twist, I have a child who actually asks to clean the toilets. These chores can’t be things like keeping their rooms clean, or helping to clear the table.  We all do some things just because we’re part of the family.  Instead, the jobs are a chance for our children to learn the value of earning their money.  After all, that’s how the real world works and in the words of Dr. Phil, “we’re raising adults.”

At the end of each week, we pay them for chores completed. We usually pay in small coins so that the children can place some coins in their save, some in their share and some in their spend jars.  They decide how much goes in each.  We just help them remember that each jar needs some of the money each week.

As they grow up, we hope these three categories will be a natural way to think about their money.

Now my wife is far more creative than I.  When we decided to resurrect this approach to teaching our children about money, she broke out the scrapbooking papers, stickers and stamps.  The kids decorated their own boxes.  We talked with them about the jobs they’d like to do.  We even chipped in some coins to get the funds started.  Yeah, I have a soft spot for those kids.

Today, when my little guy said he really, really, REALLY wanted that toy at Target, I was able to say to him, “OK, save up your spend money and you can have it,” and that settled it.

That’s what’s working around our home.  What’s working around yours?