Shaping Faith at Bedtime

“C’mon guys, time for bed.”  My comment is greeted with the usual groans and dramatic complaints. 

  

“Daaa-aaad, its still early!” one insists.  Since when is 9pm early, I wonder, stifling a yawn.  With coaxing that ranges from nudges to threats, the kids finally brush their teeth and put on their pj’s.  Then my nine and almost four-year olds pile onto mom and dad’s bed for our nighttime ritual.

My wife and I aren’t experts at this, but we’ve come to believe that we are our kids’ first encounter with God’s love, and their first examples of what it means to be a Christ follower. 

That’s scary stuff.  One look in the mirror and I’m praying God will work in their lives, despite me. But, there they are, on the bed, awaiting our usual ritual: two questions and a prayer.

“What was your least favourite part of the day – was there anything you really didn’t like?”  My daughter tells about how she didn’t get to scrapbook with her mom.  Didn’t you go shopping with her instead, I think to myself, but I hold my tongue.  This isn’t a time for judgment.  We simply acknowledge that must have been disappointing.  This is a time when we let hard feelings have a voice. 

My son tells the story of falling and scrapping his knee.  A subtle glance at his bare knees shows there’s no scrape.  I think he just wants to be part of this time.

“Was that for real or pretend, bud?”  I ask.  He assures me its for real.  This isn’t the time to lecture him on the value of telling the truth.  He’s using his imagination to be part of this experience.  His effort affirms that the question we’ve asked is important enough to warrant him telling a story.

“Ok, so what about your favourite part of the day?” I ask.  This second question is my favourite.  I’m regaled with stories of going to the park, or playing with friends, or spending time as a family.

“What was yours?” my daughter always responds. 

“Umm, being here with you guys,” I say.  I know its bit corny, but its true.  Those few moments at the end of the day are some of my favourite ones.  Ever.

After we’re done with the two questions, we pray, a different person praying each night. We say “thank-you” for the good things, and pray about the hard things. The prayers are simple, yet heartfelt.

Its taken some time to get to this place, and I’m sure those times will change as the kids grow up.  It’s also not an every night occurrence.  Sometimes, the summer sun has gone to bed before the kids have, and we’re scrambling to carry their limp bodies with smirking faces up to bed.

But I think its important that we keep coming back to it.  Here’s why:

1. It teaches that prayer, talking with God, is normal.

Prayer doesn’t have to be what we do when we’ve run out of other options; it can be more than the last cry of a desperate person.  It can be a lifestyle where we acknowledge God with us, Giver of Good gifts, Comforter in our tough times.

If my kids experience this most evenings, I hope they will develop a worldview where talking with God is perfectly normal and healthy.

2. Its teaches the skills of looking through our day for the good, and giving thanks for it

Life brings to us far more than we can possibly attend to consciously.  So, we are constantly selecting the things we’ll notice, the memories we’ll keep. Whether we see the glass half empty or half full depends on what we chose to notice. 

   

If anyone is like me, than seeing the darker stuff comes easily.  I can often end my day recalling the projects I didn’t finish, the words I regret saying, the actions I wish I’d done differently.  It’s a skill to look for the good.

And look for it we should. 

If God is present at all times (and many of us believe that goes with the whole “omnipresent” thing), then there is good in most circumstances because our good God is there. Finding God, dwelling on the good, giving thanks for it, is life-giving.  It’s an assurance that God will never leave nor forsake, and that the One from whom every good and perfect gift comes, is present with us.  The proof?  We’ve seen our good God at work.

3. It teaches that parents are a safe place to talk about hard stuff

My daughter was bullied not too long ago.  When I asked what the least favourite part of the day was, she hummed and hawed.  When she grows quiet, I know something is wrong!

We pushed just a bit; waited just a bit.  It came out that some kids had done some really mean things to her.  That question became the opportunity for us to talk with her about that event.

I hope that as they both age, the habit of asking and answering these questions, of being able to share happy and yucky feelings, will instill a belief that mom and dad can be trusted; that we’re a safe place to talk.

  

This is what’s working in our home.  I’d love to hear what’s working in yours.

A Mission of Burgers and Dogs

Please forgive me, but I need to boast.  Burns Church in Ashburn did something on Canada Day that was pretty amazing in my books.

We served burgers and dogs.

That’s right – at the Ashburn village Canada Day BBQ, our congregation took on the responsibility for serving over 250 people who were present.  There was the Whitby Mayor, Town Councillors, our MPP and MP.  And Burns.

We moved people through line with the efficiency of a well-oiled machine.

“Burger combo, hotdog” cried the order taker.

“Burger combo, hotdog” echoed someone on the team.

Some cooked the meat, others put them in buns.  Others filled the orders, or delivered drinks and chips, or made sure the bins were full of food. 

A well-oiled machine.

Now, to some in the Christian world, serving BBQ at a Canada Day picnic may not seem like mission.  But here’s what I saw happening:

First, we met a practical need.

As I’ve mentioned in earlier blogs, the village’s picnic was on the verge of shutting down (read about it here).  It wasn’t that too few were interested, just that not enough felt they could help. So, by lending a hand we were filling a need in an otherwise affluent community that needed little. 

When the Europe and North America first sent missionaries to the far corners of the globe, very few of them could start sharing the good news right away.  Instead, most took a look around, noticed where the needs were, and then started working to meet them.  Schools, hospitals, dentistry clinics were just some of ways needs were met.

Ashburn didn’t need a soup kitchen, thrift store, doctor or dentist.  But it did need people to help pull together the food.  We could do that!

Second, our connections to our community were strengthened.

As needs are met, relationships are strengthened.

Over and again, I saw folks I never see on a Sunday morning, chit chatting with congregation members.  The event became a way for the connections we already have in the community to be strengthened.  We weren’t held up behind the walls of our building, waiting for folks to come to us.  We were the church, out there, talking with people, making new friendships or deepening existing ones. 

I noticed some others who were placing their order had faces that said, “I’m a bit uncomfortable.”  Maybe they were a bit unsure about us.  Was this their first interaction with a Christian?  Did they wonder if they could be themselves around us?

“Cheese burger combo and cheese dog,” the order called.

“Cheese burger combo and cheese dog” we echoed, as one held plates, another placed the food, another put on the cheese.  We were jostling and joking as we served.  We were laughing and having fun. 

By the time folks hit the end of the table, most had faces that were relaxed, even smiling.  I hope it was because they not only had some good food for their stomachs, but a good experience with some Christians.

Third, one of our leaders expressed her strengths.

Let me tell you about one of our leaders. 

She has been in the congregation since she was two, and our office administrator for the past fourteen years.  She has obvious gifts for administration, organization and implementation.    She has a deep love and commitment to what Christ is doing among us and in Ashburn.  And, she sits on the community center board, the group who organizes the Canada Day BBQ.

So, it came as no surprise that she brought this mission opportunity to us.

It also came as no surprise that she took the project by the reigns and made it happen.

Every congregation is filled with people who have gifts and passions.  The gifts point them to how they can contribute and their passions fuel the difference they’re making for Christ.

She has gifts of administration, organization and implementation.  She has a passion for Christ and her community.  The BBQ became the perfect opportunity for her to express these.  So, it became a discipleship event where she could participate in Christ’s work, and discover the energy that comes from the joy of serving him.

4. It was a one off event some of our folks could be involved in.

When we were at the Stewards-by-Design conference in May (read about it here), Dr. Callahan noted that the church is really good at serving people who can make a long term commitment. Worship every week, 12 week bible studies, monthly events.  All these are good, but are geared towards marathoners. 

He encouraged us to make room for sprinters; people who could only make commitment for the short term (i.e. 3-5 weeks) and one-time events.

The BBQ saw people involved who enjoy helping out and want to be part of the Burns community.  They can’t commit to weekly bible studies; some work on many Sundays.  But, on this statutory holiday, they were able to share the experience.

They were part of the joking and jostling.  They deepened their connection to others in the congregation. 

Burns did a good thing on Canada Day.  Its resulted in a lot of good for our folks, and the people of the village where we meet.